


Breakable

by ephemerall



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 11:46:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11759184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ephemerall/pseuds/ephemerall
Summary: He remembers his team, the first flight in the Blue Lion, the connection and bond with Black.  He remembers the defeat of Zarkon.  But what about everything after?  Disjointed memories of purple-pink liquid, lights shone in his eyes, and screams he wasn’t sure were his or someone else’s.  He remembers voices without faces.Project Kuron,  stage 1 complete.





	Breakable

**Author's Note:**

> Based on work by the project java on tumblr  
> https://theprojectava.tumblr.com/
> 
> Also, take a look at the song Breakable by Ingrid Michaelson.  
> https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/ingridmichaelson/breakable.html

_Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts?  
Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts._

 

Shiro stood alone in his room. He hadn’t seen or talked to Keith in hours. _I don’t know what they did to you, Shiro, but you’re different._ He watched his own reflection in the mirror. _Who are you_? He looked at his hands, flexed them both, and activated his Galra arm, the same he’d used to cauterize his own wound in the frozen tundra of a planet he’d crashed on.

_Who are you?_

He remembers Keith – a headstrong cadet with a mouth that didn’t quit; incapable of submitting to anyone and a problem with authority figures. He remembers that first touch of lips sitting in the flight simulator and how he’d been the one to panic. _You’re too young to know what you want_ he’d said. _Don’t tell me what I want, Shiro._ It was incomprehensible how hard he fell, how fast he fell for Keith.

He remembers Keith saving him from the hands of the Garrison when he’d crashed back on Earth. _It’s good to have you back._

 _It’s good to be back_.

He remembers his team, the first flight in the Blue Lion, the connection and bond with Black. He remembers the defeat of Zarkon. But what about everything after? Disjointed memories of purple-pink liquid, lights shone in his eyes, and screams he wasn’t sure were his or someone else’s. He remembers voices without faces.

_Project Kuron, stage 1 complete._

He had a mission. He was sent with a task he can’t remember. He glances at his Galra arm once more and activates it. The headache that follows is blinding. It hits sudden and it hits hard, crumpling him where he stands. He grips his head and tries to stifle the scream building in his throat.

_Tell me your name._

_Shiro_. It was his voice, but it was a dead thing. Flat with no intonation.

_Who are you?_

_I am the black paladin of Voltron._

The pain in his head strengthens, pressure building behind his eyes and in his temples. _What is your mission?_

He does scream, clawing at his head. He can feel blood dripping from his nose, over his lips, can taste it in his mouth. His head is going to implode, he’s sure of it. He can feel his heart racing, beating against his ribcage, a drumbeat out of time.

_Kill the red paladin._

His ears are ringing. He’s already on his knees, but he can’t keep his balance. He crashes onto his side and he can feel himself convulsing. His body, his limbs don’t obey and he bites his tongue hard enough to make it bleed.

_Project Kuron, stage 2 complete.  
_

He’s on fire. He can’t breathe. And then there are hands on his face that aren’t his own. There is a soft, lilting voice saying his name over and over like a lullaby.

_Shiro. Shiro. Shiro._

When he can breathe, when he can crack his eyes open, Keith is there. He’s wiping Shiro’s face and has Shiro’s head in his lap. “Shiro, you’re ok,” Keith says. He can’t do more than look up at Keith, those dark violet eyes he’s gotten used to.

“I’m not – “ he starts to say and stops. Keith is looking down at him with such open sadness that he can’t bear to say it out loud. _I’m not him_. He closes his eyes and Keith – the paladin so full of fire, so full of righteous anger, and so full of fight – is so soft with him. Keith rocks him, whispers of being safe. _But_ you’re _not, Keith_. When he’s able to stop shaking, able to sit up with help, he gives a wan smile with blood on his teeth. His tongue aches.

“I’m ok,” he says.

“What happened?” Keith asks.

“I – “ _remembered that I’m here to kill you._ “I’m not sure. I got this weird headache again and… then I was on the floor.” The lie comes out easily enough but it feels like acid in his throat. “I’m ok now. Promise.” Keith gives him a half-smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Okay,” he says and helps Shiro up. For the first time in months he steps back, puts distance between himself and Keith. Keith regards him with an air of disbelief – but Shiro has always put his own needs on hold for the sake of others. “Do you want me to stay?”

Shiro is shaking his head before he can stop it, and the hurt in Keith’s eyes is clear as crystal. Keith nods once, more to himself than Shiro. “Alright. I guess I’ll see you in the morning.” Keith turns away and heads for the door, and then hesitates at the threshold. He’s waiting for Shiro to stop him, to change his mind and call Keith back for the comfort Keith is so willing to give. But Shiro doesn’t and Keith leaves without saying anything more.

 

They spend weeks dancing around Shiro’s episode. Keith doesn’t tell anyone as far as he can tell, and Shiro avoids the topic altogether. He has a hard time sleeping at night, staring at the ceiling in the dark, activating and deactivating his arm. Each time there is a deeper ache – maybe it’s a pain response, torture of some kind because he hasn’t completed his mission and he’s had ample time.

It’s the middle of the night and he’s climbing out of bed. He knows what he has to do; he can’t keep ignoring it. It’s what he was made for. It is his only reason for existence and if he doesn’t do it… will his creators end him? He walks quietly down the hall and stops outside of Keith’s door. He doesn’t knock and he winces at the hiss of the door when it opens. Keith is lying in his bed, eyes closed and face relaxed. He moves across the room and stands over the bed, watching Keith sleep. His dark hair fell over his forehead, lips slightly parted.

Shiro put one knee on the bed, careful not to disturb Keith. He lit up his hand and watched the glow reflect off of Keith’s skin. _He loved you._ Shiro held that glowing hand close to Keith, but didn’t touch him. He stood still as Keith opened his eyes slowly, only halfway and stared at him. His eyes were full of something – the kind of love people spend lifetimes searching for. The way he looked at Shiro… there were no words to describe how deep that love went.

He’d come in this room to end Keith’s life, and instead his chest was swelling with something. Looking at Keith this way, just barely surfaced from sleep without the crease of agitation in his forehead or the scowl they were all so used to seeing, he was beautiful.

_He loves you and I can see why._

So he leans forward and Keith follows his face, gaze moving from his eyes to his lips. The first press is soft, so sweet. And then Keith slides his hands up Shiro’s neck, thumbs pressing against Shiro’s jaw and pulls him in again. This kiss is much different – it’s full of intent, full of need and longing. Shiro deactivates his arm and Keith doesn’t ask why it was on in the first place. Instead he pulls Shiro in, pulls him down so the weight of Shiro’s body presses him into the mattress. Their kissing gains fervor – Keith’s teeth in his bottom lip, Shiro’s tongue sweeping into Keith’s mouth and tangling with Keith’s. With his flesh hand he slides his fingers into Keith’s hair and tightens them. Keith is the one to break their kiss, to let Shiro pull his head back; he exhales heavily, mouth open, while Shiro presses bruising kisses to his throat. There is a surge of something – he wants to mark Keith, wants everyone to know whom Keith belongs to.

 _I love you_.

The realization hits him like a freight train. The physical attraction to Keith was undeniable, and there were always the feelings that were planted there, but now… Now he can feel life in himself, separate from that implanted in him. He’s startled out of his thoughts by Keith’s hand snaking between them and pressing between his legs. He breathes hard against the skin of Keith’s neck and can’t stop the grunt that escapes when Keith sucks his earlobe into his mouth.

He grinds down into Keith’s hand and goes back to his mouth – they are desperate, needful kisses, too much tongue and teeth that feels too good. He can feel Keith shifting under him, undulating and pressing himself into Shiro’s thigh. Keith exhales loudly and then shoves something into Shiro’s shoulder. Keith is breathing hard, staring wantonly at him before he breaks their gaze to look at what Keith is holding. It’s a little bottle.

“I… I’m not him,” he says. With Keith, like this, he can’t lie to him – not anymore.

“I know,” Keith says softly. “I’ve always known.”

“Keith…”

“Just shut up,” Keith says, shoving the bottle harder at him. “Shut up and touch me.” Keith shifts under him and presses their groins together and his reply is momentarily lost in a groan.

“My name,” he pants.

Keith shakes his head. “Shiro,” he says, and maybe that’s what Keith needs. Keith needs him to be as close to his Shiro as he can because they both know there is the chance that he is all that’s left – that the Keith's Shiro, the one he was created from, no longer exists.

Everything dissolves into kisses, slick fingers, and sweat sticky skin. It’s the feeling of Keith’s legs thrown over his arms, the sound of skin slapping against skin and the harsh breathing in a small space. They aren’t so much as kissing anymore as sharing breath. Keith doesn’t keep his eyes closed – they watch each other, quick movements of hips and his hand between Keith’s legs, fist moving over hard, silky flesh. When Keith finally comes it’s with his neck arched, head pressed back into the pillow, and teeth in his lip. When Shiro comes it’s with Keith’s legs around his waist, praying this won’t be the last time, praying he can be enough if he’s all that’s left.


End file.
